Also, it just occurred to me that maybe I should write down some of the nice things that happen in my life instead of all of the bad and sarcastic. For example, the last 24 hours have been kind of awesome:
I didn’t feel like going to class yesterday, so instead I stayed in bed and watched Desperate Housewives until I decided to call Stef. I said, “I feel like going to Joe’s Crab Shack.” She concurred. Two Diet Cokes, eight Snow Crab legs, two New Potatoes, a handful of grilled shrimp, and a Crabby Apple Cobbler with cinnamon ice cream later, I was so happy I could throw up. Ew.
So I talk to Dave, and say, “I feel like drinking beers tonight if you do,” and he concurs. I start raving to Stef about how I get everything I want. We go to Stef’s apartment to try to look all over her room for a shirt she is already wearing, and I discover that even after washing my hands many times, they still smell like Old Bay Seasoning.
MEANWHILEEEEE…Dave has accidentally locked himself out of his bedroom. I misunderstand and think that he is locked out of his whole house and Stef and I make up a plan to save him until he clarifies. I resolve to bring presents.
We go back to my place so Stef can borrow my shower. I call Georgia and we talk about failblog.com and how much we love each other. Stef drives me to Dave’s to save me from walking a gazillion miles in the snow, and I present Dave with the several bobby pins in my pocket, Italian coffee, and my [unused] crab bib that says: “Let’s Get Crackin.’”
We start lock-picking. I pretend to know what I’m doing until we realize that we are dealing with the Azkaban/Alcatraz of doorknobs. His roommate Erik sees what we are doing and gets really excited.
Tools used in the process: a butter knife, a gift card, a sludge hammer, a regular hammer, my expired health insurance card, bobby pins, safety pins, my pink glitter butterfly Claire’s Swiss Army Nail File, bike tools, a bent wire hanger that Erik called by a fancy name I can’t remember, and Wikipedia.
Erik remembers that he has a metal saw, and so we tag-team saw off the whole lock portion of the doorknob. (Yeah, we sawed off the doorknob). Then Dave and Erik go on a quest for needle nose pliers while I stay there to read the Maxim with Megan Fox on the cover and wait for Peanut M&M’s.
We decide to saw through the screws behind the doorknob AND IT OPENS. Victory celebration in Dave’s room. Dave now has a peephole where his ‘knob used to be, but don’t worry, I have a spare. We play Never Have I… and Scrabble. I learn that Dave’s favorite color is blue and that most people in ‘the 21+ age group’ are expected to be obsessed with sex.
Sleep.
CREPES BRUNCH!!!! Sweet (with grape jelly or chocolate syrup created from hot cocoa mix) and Savory (pepper jack cheese and salsa). Yum…
