May 2009
6 posts
Amelia Wagner (AmySocialite) on Twitter →
Goodbye Tumblr
I’m doing all of this social networking for Opus One now, and I really don’t want all of these stupid websites taking over my life…so, Tumblr is going the way of my personal myspace. See you.
Here are other ways to get ahold of me:
Facebook: Opus One Productions
Twitter: AmySocialite
Myspace: myspace.com/opusoneprod
I'm the Birthday Girl.
Stef baked apricot cake and we’re gonna eat it while I make everybody watch home videos from my childhood. Then go to bars! And then I go to Tucson! and then to Vegas!
woooooo!
facebook:
The number of people who have used their colleges as an opportunity to stunt growth outside of Hampton Township is amazing.
starting my new(ish) job on Monday!
April 2009
12 posts
I walked around all day in a leotard.
It’s officially summer!
Prepare for accidental glimpses of my buttcheeks more times than you ever thought possible.
Awesome timing.
I pick the worst weeks possible to lose my mind and indulge in self pity.
I have work to do, but I would much rather lay in bed, drink wine and watch Desperate Housewives in an effort to forget that I have a real life.
11:02 pm:
Georgia texts me “Love toooy” when she so clearly means “Love youuu.” Somebody put her to bed! haha.
In fact, today has been adorable as far as text messages go:
Anupriya sent “Haha shame on you :)” which is probably equivalent to her spanking me.
and Erik sent just “I love” hours later in response to something I said about Lady Gaga. Yes, Erik,...
Nothin' like a bunch of racially diverse actors... →
I can’t wait to love my life even harder when this semester ends in like two weeks.
Just got rid of Myspace. I thought it was best to act before anyone talked me out of it.
As of 2 hours ago, my new thing is Hipster News on Current—which isn’t the real name of the show…but basically, it’s all the things from smart people blogs that young professionals would repeat the next day at work to impress their coworkers. Not too mind-blowing of a concept, but fascinating.
I always forget that the second I graduate college and officially...
March 2009
11 posts
I’m juggling three blondes, mentally.
“I only certainly was just thinking how everything always was just happening to...”
– Three Lives by Gertrude Stein
Spring Break
I kind of forgot about the internet, unless I was looking up directions or trying to settle some kind of argument. I’m still in bed. I should get up and make coffee and mini tacos so I can go shopping before I babysit. Is Phil still here? I have to find out…
"Nobody puts baby in the corner."
I didn’t think parties could get as bad as the one that happened last night. There was so much potential: great people, a great location…but it’s amazing how many factors led up to disappointment. I wasn’t aware that “vinyl only dance party” meant “self-indulgent, poorly-arranged, ‘I would have to be blacked out right now in order to dance to...
February 2009
11 posts
yeaaah I have a phone again! I have to call my mom!
Pink Pussies:
rotten things in cups that will make you bruise your hipbones, lose your phone, and forget where you live.
Nate drove me home, Greg called Stef, and Stef came to my house so that I wouldn’t have to “die alone.”
She marveled at the destruction in my bathroom: I had knocked down my curtain and knocked everything off of my shelves. She listened to me puke and monitored my shower...
Anupriya took me to the hospital on Monday because I had an epic migraine and I couldn’t stop throwing up and I fainted in the shower. I owe her one—I really didn’t want an ambulance to come find me naked on my bathroom floor all rolled up in my shower curtain and my old lady shower cap. Saying ‘shower curtain’ and then ‘shower cap’ sounds redundant, but I...
Yesterday was awkward.
At Midnight
my chili was done! (I burned the first batch of beans…shhh) oh come on I’ve never made beans before and I was trying to watch the premiere of Demetri Martin: Important Things!
anyways, it was delicious! I am good at chili-making. Tomorrow, I will make Avocado Ice Cream, courtesy of the lovely Miss Georgia.
Would Lilo and Snatch be a good title for a Furry porno? Or not, because Stitch isn’t a real animal? Do Furries even watch/make porn or do they just watch Animal Planet? Where does the Animorphs series factor into this?
Best question: why am I thinking about this when I’m supposed to be writing a very important project proposal instead?
UPDATE:
The WORLD’S LARGET FURRY...
Ideas:
Cranium: Genius Edition. Categories are Alchemy. and Calculus because I think that’s really hard. I refuse to recognize a difference between Alchemy and Chemistry.
If I ever become a paraplegic, you better believe I am going to wear a mermaid costume over my bum legs. I guarantee that within a week, I would be convinced that ‘mermaid’ is my actual ailment that stops me...
If you’re a guy and you’re answering an ad about a summer sublet, you probably shouldn’t ask your potential [female] roommate out on a date.
Especially if she thought you were gay until you wouldn’t stop talking about your ex girlfriend.
An Open Note to the Oakland Rioters:
Breaking the windows on the library confuses me. I think you’re sending the wrong message.
Supposed: “I am a Steelers Fan! I love the Steelers!”
Actual: “I am a fan of beer! I hate reading!”
It’s cool…had Arizona won, a few dudes probably would’ve fucked a cactus.
I'm embarrassed for you.
Have fun on your way to welfare, and make sure to keep tattooing your fat rolls!
January 2009
16 posts
Also, it just occurred to me that maybe I should write down some of the nice things that happen in my life instead of all of the bad and sarcastic. For example, the last 24 hours have been kind of awesome:
I didn’t feel like going to class yesterday, so instead I stayed in bed and watched Desperate Housewives until I decided to call Stef. I said, “I feel like going to Joe’s Crab...
Spilling the Beans
And honestly? I shouldn’t have to care at all, but I do.
Serve with Trader Joe's Cornbread
Cashew Chili adapted from The Cabbagetown Café Cookbook ingredients: 1-1/2 cups uncooked pinto or kidney beans, cleaned and rinsed 6 cups water 2 bay leaves 2 tablespoons light vegetable oil 2 onions, chopped 4 cloves of garlic, peeled and minced 2 green peppers, chopped, 2 celery stalks, chopped 1 tablespoon butter 2 tablespoons ground cumin 1 tablespoon ground coriander 1/2 teaspoon cayenne 1/2...
Seasonal Affective Disorder
Things currently ruining my life:
1. not being able to find a hair tie or my student ID
2. knowing that I will have to move at some point to: 1) pee, 2) take out the garbage
3. the amount of money I spend on ordering Wheel Deliver like a shut-in
Going to the Union and sitting in front of the light box makes me feel stupid, so instead I will:
1. Go tanning tomorrow, and
2. buy myself The...
Young America:
We have elected a president who will listen to us. We have demonstrated that we have the education, the power, and the ambition to make things happen. January 20th is only the beginning of what can be done.
To be negative is really to be lazy and apathetic. Quit your bitching and go out and do something if you’re upset. This isn’t about political parties—it’s about the...
WHY...
…is there no horror movie that features some creepy house invader George-Foreman-Grilling somebody’s face?!
In Inside, bitch gets whacked by a toaster, swung by its cord.
Everything is a weapon after watching that movie.